Think back to when you were a kid, was your life as stressful, or do you think your child’s is more stressful in todays world?

Teaching our children to handle stressful situations can itself  be a little bit stressful at times. But it is an important tool for them to have, it builds resilience and self esteem.

Last week was the end of the cricket season, my son played in his grand final and lost. We could choose to let him be upset for the day or give him the chance to air his disappointment and then distract him to do other things.

Kids that have good resilience skills and good self esteem often look at how things could be improved more objectively and not

” It was my fault.”    “I cost the team the game.”        “I didn’t pass my test , I’m a failure”

Here are some tools that may help your child in a stressful situation

DISTRACTION;

Sometimes having plans made in advance is a good idea. Plan to go to the park, get ice-creams. Visit family and friends.

Do something you normally enjoy as a family.

Let your kids know these plans in advance, and let them choose an activity that the family could do together, this gives them a voice in how they can pick themselves up.

JOURNAL;

A journal is a great tool to use at any time.

Often looking back through journals, we can reflect on past experiences , but more importantly how we had got through that experience successfully.

TAKE TIME OUT;

If your child is studying or doing homework, encourage them take a break 10-15 mins for each  1 – 1.5 hrs. they do.

This particularly helps boys study longer and improves productivity.

FEEDBACK;

The most important thing we can do as parents is to provide positive feedback about how they have performed.

Focus more on the effort rather than the result, I have always spoken about the importance of a parent focussing on a child’s effort rather than the grade on their report.

Focus more on the positive rather than the negatives.

Also look at encouragement, as this focusses on their  involvement, their effort, building confidence, resilience and self esteem.

DONT FORGET;

Give your child a hug, it is such an underrated act. No matter what, if your child feels like they have a safe place to land their self value will soar.

Take care and thanks for joining me.